So last year Tshwane sent me a ridiculous bill for my 3-bedroom rental property.
Since I own the property (12+ years) I never managed to reward myself with a utility bill of more than R5,000-00.
Then last year, 2018 November / December, just before I am leaving for Thailand Tshwane decided it is time for me the be rewarded. So, I was rewarded with an R90,000-00 utility bill.
My first reaction was – damn I did it!
Then I took a deep look at my bank account and realized I am not deserving of such a great reward.
Jokes aside.
Obviously, I shat my pants! Within a few days I am leaving the country and what will happen to my tenants should our most capable Tshwane decide to cut all services to this property?
Well, I did a bit of ranting on Facebook. Connected with Elmarie van der Linde from the DA. She directed me to some “other people” that will solve the issue.
Needless to say – but it kept me awake for many nights.
So, in the end, I was informed that it could be a mere typo issue and they will resolve it ASAP. Nothing in this beautiful country qualifies for the “ASAP” status so I was just carrying on with not sleeping at nights.
Maybe signing coal contracts with the Guptas can potentially receive “ASAP” status 😊
True as nuts, some clever Data Capturer entered the readings incorrectly into the SAP system.
I can be ranting regarding how much money workers get paid at Government and Municipalities irrespective of their performance but that is another topic for another post.
Remember. I could never manage to accumulate a utility bill of more than R5,000-00 in 12+ years and suddenly I am presented with one for R90,000-00….
How many homeowners suffer from sleepless nights because of these Data Capturers at Tshwane? A typo here, typo there, typo everywhere! I see all over social media homeowners complaining.
So as a very serious Software Engineer and Programmer, I spend weeks, months trying to find a solution for this really challenging issue of typos in the SAP software. I consulted with Elon Musk in the end. I even had to call up Mark Shuttleworth. So, we had a huge brainstorming session. We consumed all of their available resources. We worked tirelessly day and night.
And I am really so happy and excited to provide to Tshwane (and all other municipalities) a really complex solution. I will leave my contact details should the solution be too advanced and complex for your (Tshwane) understanding.
Hire a capable SAP developer. (Forget about politics and back-hand deals. Just get the best guy or girl). Money should be no issue. Remember this one:
https://programmer.co.za/general-news/free-state-provincial-government-r40-million-website
Now just provide this capable developer with the following PHP pseudo-code before you leave for your lunch break:
//Parameter that can be set up /saved in the SAP system. 200%/100 = 2
$treshold_percentage = 2;
if($customer.previous_6_months_average_bill
X $treshold_percentage < $customer.this_months_bill)
{
dd(“You idiot. Go back to school. This is your 100th typo error for the day. You are really pissing off our voters who pay your salary in the end! One more typo and you are fired! Capisce?”);
}
//With compliments: Marius van Tubbergh, Elon Muskand Mark Shuttleworth
You come back from your lunch break. Yup, you took
Problem is solved. Never again will any homeowner have to suffer from sleepless nights due to incompetent workers at Tshwane! Never again.
Solved with a few lines of coding.
PS: It took me 35min to write this article. The pseudo-code took less than ONE minute.
It takes more time to explain the issue than writing the pseudo-code and yet NOBODY at Tshwane could present this solution to an “evil” that has been plaguing us homeowners for centuries.
Together we are united!
Hope we can share this and get Tshwane to take the lead on this issue.
I will happily take the credit alongside Elon Musk and Mark Shuttleworth for this masterpiece, ingenious solution!
